Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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