i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
