Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize