may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
