You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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