I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize