Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
