I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize