Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
