butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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