I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
