There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
