All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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