his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
