sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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