I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
