I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize