Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
