he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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