Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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