Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
