i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
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His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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