just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The best revenge is premature balding
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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