alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
