he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm too high and old for this...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
