Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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