oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
