Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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