best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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