like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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