that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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