Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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