and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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