are you so shy because you have an std?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
