best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
