i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
