Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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