And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I believe in your delicious
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
