the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
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dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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