During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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