batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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