after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
