yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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