You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
