My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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