So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Four minutes until I can fart!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
