i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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