At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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