what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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