Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I believe in your delicious
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
