i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
