That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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