I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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