I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
