Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
