Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
