You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
