North Korea, Best Korea!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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