laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
