do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
