...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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