dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
