is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
