OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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