I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
two words...techno handjob
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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