I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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