Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
