Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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